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Equality and Diversity in a Partnership

August 24, 2013

Equality and Diversity in a Partnership


This article is made of chapter 40 of book “Sex and rank” with some additions and abridgements.


Are alpha-males existed?

Official science hasn’t answer.

Two women have a talk:

‘Are alphas? Nonsense! We aren’t monkey!

‘But I SEE what N is alpha-male!

Consensus on the base of perception isn’t possible.

Some women see alphas, some women don’t see.

Likewise the Saturn rings. Some people can see Saturn rings, but some people cannot.

If they don’t see Saturn rings, rings don’t cease to exist. If some women don’t see alphas, alphas don’t cease to exist.

Official science hasn’t answer if alphas exist or don’t. Some psychologists, especially in family consulting, know that something exists. But it is dangerous to use word ‘alpha’. Some women and scientists wouldn’t understand it truly.

The vast majority of books on sexual relationships contain recommendations on how a woman should behave with her partner. These recommendations sometimes work, and sometimes have the opposite effect, because in these books the crucial element is missing: the partner can be the chosen one, or he can be the alpha. ‘Just a partner’ is possible only in the most basic of situations such as ‘Don’t wallop your partner with a dirty cloth in the presence of others’. So recommendations must be diverse.

The alpha-male is comprised of the following elements:

an array of male biological and behavior parameters,

and female recognition and interaction programs.

The alpha emerges only when two of these elements come together. We could write that the alpha-male is a Gestalt, even two forms of Gestalt: male and female. But these complexities are not necessary, and we will not use such terminology subsequently. The Gestalt is an integrated form or structure which does not change even if its host does; for instance, a tune can be played on different musical instruments, but it remains the same tune. In this respect a tune is a Gestalt. Alpha features may be common in different people, and then the alpha is a Gestalt. Alphas can be replaced just as a tune can be played on different musical instruments.

All biologically correct women have the same image of the alpha-male which consists of five components: symmetry, intellect, strength, self-control, age. Women with a biological glitch may be missing one of the components of the program. All male-female relationships are predetermined by a plethora of similar building blocks. If one detail is missing, behavior changes. Besides, in the consciousness of the woman the image of the alpha changes.

Women have only two executive program sets, for the chosen one and the alpha accordingly. A woman’s behavior is determined by the program that is operative at that particular moment. The way she relates to both the alpha and the chosen one can be totally opposed in certain details, because this is governed by only one program. The program ‘package’ associated with the alpha goes back in time much longer and has much more force than the package associated with the chosen one.

The essential relationship is ‘chosen one-woman’ and ‘alpha-woman’. All other relationships are an imitation of these two. It is possible to accommodate these elements together but this is not desirable as it entails a power conflict. Those who attempt to come to an agreement on the distribution of powers usually end up in a conflict of interests.

The ‘woman-chosen one’ relationship assumes an equal partnership, at least because the partners need to hide from the alpha if they want to indulge in sex. The ‘woman-alpha’ relationship is not an equal one, it is one based on submission as the alpha dominates and submission to the alpha is prescribed in the woman’s program. These partnership rules apply to all possible workings between the couples.

The alpha is always older whereas the chosen one may be of the same age. Marriages with the chosen one fail more often than those with the alpha, and, besides, marriages with the alpha last longer.

Young women betray the alphas with the chosen ones and the chosen ones with the alphas. Chosen ones are not betrayed with other chosen ones as one chosen one cannot be replaced by another. The chosen one is unique. The alpha is a discrete entity. The alpha cannot be perceived by a woman as only 77% of an alpha, the alpha in the female consciousness is either an alpha or he is not. In that all alphas are equal.

An alpha is not betrayed with another alpha, but an alpha can be left for another alpha. Just as with chimpanzees, one alpha can be replaced by another alpha: there is an accepted alpha standard, and the alpha is a Gestalt. Biology stipulates that the alpha must be changed, and a rich alpha is better than a poor alpha.

Mature women are unfaithful to their ‘own’ non-alpha by having sex with the alpha. A woman can always say why she loves the alpha by enumerating the alpha qualities. But the woman can only rarely say why she loves her chosen one, and his virtue lies in the fact that he is the chosen one of this woman because he was born with a scope of genetic material that must coincide with the requirements of the female program. Naturally, a woman cannot say that, therefore she will say something like ‘I love him for what he is… mmm…’ Uttered with a sigh.

The alpha, with due regard for social restrictions, is allowed to have sex with other women. Thus, whereas a Moslem may have several wives, in the West a man will not wish to be seen with his mistress in public. The chosen one is not allowed to have sex on the side. The alpha’s wife and mistress may even know each other and the roles they each perform, and get on perfectly well together. But with the chosen one such a turn of events would be impossible as he would be confronted by aggression from both women.

The women decide how many women will be made available to the man. If previously men were considered without an alpha parameter, women can allow the man to have several women only if he has all the alpha parameters. This is the option most favourable for the maintenance of population quality. If the women are to be brought together in one place, the alpha parameters have to be complemented by social status.

As a couple in an equal partnership the woman much more frequently tries to suppress the man and is very often successful. The suppression of any man occurs according to the same scenario as with the suppression of the alpha: at first his stress levels are increased, then he is made hysterical after which he is no longer of interest and is evicted.

A woman has faith in the alpha and submits to the alpha. This applies both to sexual and social relations, and the woman is also inclined to apply her faith to areas where the alpha is not competent. The chosen one is forgiven his mistakes, but the alpha’s mistakes, even if they are verbally forgiven, undermine the woman’s faith in him and, consequently, the alpha-status.

The woman knows how she should behave and knows when she has to be submissive. Chimpanzee females know that they will be savagely punished for their infidelity, but engage in infidelity nevertheless. Women know that they must not flirt with strangers, neglect the child, or neglect their duties. Both chimpanzee females and human females know that they may be punished and therefore if they are caught accept that punishment as proper. This is the origin of such ideas as ‘if he beats me it means he loves me’, although men do not love in the same way as women do. What she thinks is that she is being beaten for something she has done and therefore if he is beating her that means he is not indifferent to her. Some women think that if they are not beaten for something they have done wrong then that is a sign of male indifference. Healthy males never beat females if they feel indifference towards them. The use of physical force is the exclusive prerogative of the alpha. If the chosen one uses physical violence, the woman will most likely leave him.

The meaning of punishment is the closure of an open problem. The feelings of the ‘alpha -female’ are more robust and last longer than the feelings of the ‘chosen one – woman’ because, as complement to the main issue, the alpha may mete out punishment for incorrect behavior whereas the chosen one cannot as the chosen one and the woman are equal. With the chosen one the problems remain open and they tend to accumulate, leading to severance.

Women perceive the same behavior by the chosen one and the alpha in different ways. What in the chosen one will be viewed as narcissism she may see as self-confidence in the alpha. She says to the chosen one ‘be gentle with me’, but to the alpha she says ‘be rough with me’. She says to the chosen one ‘I’m the large one’ and to the alpha ‘I’m the small one’. If the chosen one shows off his physical strength she may say to him ‘Stop making a spectacle of yourself’, but to the alpha she’ll say ‘Wow’.

There exist plenty of legends about oral sex. The truth is that for a healthy man it is physically less pleasurable than traditional sex. For the alpha it is the ultimate expression of the convergence of sex and submission. If a woman wants to get pleasure from oral sex she must feel the urge to submit. Oral sex is not equal sex, and it can only be desired with the alpha. Very many non-alphas also want to feel as though they are alphas, even if for a short period of time. This is why it is a popular feeling. But the non-alpha cannot appreciate female submission, and this leads to the disparagement of both oral sex and submission, both in the mind of the non-alpha and the woman. Oral sex may also be devalued by both equally if it is used only for the purpose of achieving an erection. Oral sex with the chosen one is a non-essential extra. The chosen one usually gets turned on with the first physical contact, and with an excess of feelings simple handwork is enough for him.

It is quite easy for the alpha to get the woman to perform oral sex, and the woman will also get some pleasure from it. This also applies to all similar things sometimes regarded as kinkiness. But to do it for the chosen one and out of free choice is unpleasant and provokes in the woman aversion and protest because it does not correspond to rank. Such actions contain an excess of submissiveness, and submissiveness is not an option for the chosen one, but only for the alpha.

The woman associates herself very much with her face. In her relations with the chosen one the woman usually does not like his hands to touch her face, although with the alpha this may please her. But in this instance what appeals to one woman may not appeal to another.

Women whose identification programs are disrupted may take any man as the alpha, including her chosen one. If at the same time the female behavioral programs with regard to the alpha work correctly, the woman will regard that man as the real alpha.

Alphas do not have a good grasp of innuendo. Innuendo is for the chosen one, alphas require explicit demonstration. Alphas see innuendo, including sexual innuendo, as bad behavior, and therefore their most likely reaction to innuendo will be negative. The chosen one responds to sexual innuendo, and the alpha has a stronger reaction to the behavior of submission. The chosen one is turned on by any girl, including and especially the ‘bad’ girl. Alphas prefer ‘good’ and ‘obedient’ girls. Alphas do not need to play-act, including with words of love. The alpha does not like it when his ear is tickled and he hears ‘my pet’.

The distinction between the alpha and the chosen one is prescribed in female programs. What is legitimate for Jupiter, is not legitimate for oxen.


Sergei Morozov is a Russian social philosopher, evolutionary psychologist and author of “Sex and Rank. Modern Man’s Ancient Programs”.

This text is free. You may republish it on any resource without permission of author.

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One Comment
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